Saturday Diversions

As we speak, I am eating beans and rice. I have been eating beans and rice for an entire freakin' week. Despite the fact that beans and rice provide a "complete protein" (thanks, mom), I feel they are slowly dissolving my insides. Regardless, I have both beans and rice in profusion, so I will continue to eat them until the beans are gone, or my interior is completely slushified.

Today is a day of intense grogginess. I feel entirely detached from everything, which made my run earlier this morning incredibly disorienting. I am at the moment waiting for my parents to complete the drive from Madison to Milwaukee, so I can hang out with them for the day. In the meantime, I've managed to take two one-hour long naps, and get invited to play basketball with a Mr. Tom Annen. Sadly I will not be able to take advantage of Tom's presence, as I will be enjoying art museums and free meals with my folks. Also, Tom is with his lady friend, so he will be busy anyways.

I have noticed a lot of atonal moaning coming from one of my suitemate's room lately, and I hypothesized that he had either discovered american pop music, or had simply begun to masturbate loudly. It turns out that he has downloaded the newest Black Eyed Peas album, confirming hypothesis A. However, he has been playing the song "My Humps" a little too frequently for my tastes, and I fear I will go mad. I surmise that every evil man, as he lays on his deathbed and contemplates the merits of his life, will hear "My Humps" playing as the background music. This, friends, is true hell.

OUT